Dateless on New Year’s Eve

Called the Israeli girl whose number I got Friday night (not the one from facebook). Perhaps I’ll call her IG2.  It was noisy at the other end-she was at a bar a few blocks away-but our small talk got on okay for a couple of minutes before she said she could barely hear me and I said she should give me a call back when it’s quieter.

Ugh!  If you’re not in a position to talk, don’t take the phone call!  First calls are hard enough to make.  And on top of it all, Israelis are pretty blunt and hard to flirt with to begin with.  But call over.

Probably for the best…she can call me back if she wants.  But since she couldn’t hear me, even though it would be risky, I couldn’t help but thinking if I suggested I just stop by the bar she was at, we could have shared a quick drink, she goes back to her friends, I head home.  Then again, fishing for an invite or stopping by could have been very awkward.  And I had enough awkwardness for the evening (this was on the heels of movie night).   So I’ll wait for her to ring back.

Georgia girl and I exchanged a couple of facebook messages and txts this weekend and the last, but didn’t link up.  Finally I placed an actual phone call about getting together (at a group event).  The reply, cordial with a “I’ll be there with a friend, see you there,” was sent via facebook.  But I wanted to talk in person.  I think we should see each other again, and thought a being in a group could be ideal.  Or will, the group setting, and the presence of a ‘friend from work’ make things even more tricky?  A phone call back would of let us/me feel it out.

There’s another girl whose confused me with facebook messages.  She hotlisted me on Jdate months back, but I’m not a subscriber, so I couldn’t write back, but thought she was cute.  Then we were invited to the same party last weekend via a facebook invite.  Didn’t see each other at the party, but I sent a nice facebook note.  Her response back was sweet, but the 3 lines were a little lacking in substance.  When my note inspired 3 more urbane lines from her, I wrote her off.  She’s Israeli, so the terseness is sort of her style, but I’m not down with that style!

But I’m judging people’s facebook messages a bit too much.  My friend mentions her initial e-conversation with her boyfriend.  Her thoughtful e-mail got a “Hey, how are you” in response.”  She gave him an in-person chance.  They’re great together!  So what’s the lesson?  Well, it will either be 1) screw facebook messages (either the content of them or just using them altogether).  Or it could be 2) trust the gut instinct you get from e-conversations.  I should know in a week or two.

I was hoping that 4 dates on New Year’s Day (and a pretty action packed December) would carry over into January.  But I knew that could be wishful thinking.  December is easy.  There’s a mess of parties to attend and those who are single for the holiday season are lonely and eager for affection.  January is just boring and cold.Out on the town this Saturday night, I pined for my confident December self.  Instead, I found myself in my shiest of states.  Pretty girls abounded in all the bars I was at.  But at the sports bar, I couldn’t open my mouth to ask the girl in the Jaguars jersey how much she hated Tom Brady.  At a fratastic bar, I couldn’t imagine what I’d say to any number of girls I could have talked to before calling it a night.

It’s just because the people on that scene are not my scene, my friend tells me over lunch.  Maybe so, but at the fratastic bar, I’m not looking for a special someone.  It’s just a matter of being able to be able to talk, to relax, and have a good hookup, or at least some fun dancing to Justin Timberlake.  And for all I talk about it or think about it (and now try to write about it) I should be able to roll into a dive bar and approach people.  For me, sometimes I feel like I’ve all the confidence in the world and sometimes that I can’t talk to anyone.

I’ve got the wherewithal for bar banter-some of the time.  I think the answer for my occasional bouts of timidity is to drill myself with some default game for when I feel like my mouth is sewn shut.  Not “is that a mirror in your pocket” lines, but a routine to throw some cold water on my face and get the bar conversation going.